Lately, their activities had been limited to playing cards a few times a week.
One day when playing cards, one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me.
She then replies, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door." Quiz: How Old Are You Really? 0 - 5 = You're still young 6 - 10 = You are getting older 11 - 15 = Don't tell your age 16 - 25 = You're older than you think!
From the following list of 25 items, count all the ones that you remember -- not the ones you were told about! Be sure to pass this along -- especially to all your friends with really good memories.
• The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run. • I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave." The old farmer replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim or make you get out of the pond naked.
Pet Parrot A man buys a pet parrot and brings him home. I only came down to feed the alligator." Moral: Old age and treachery will always triumph over youth and skill.
" He said, "For dinner she makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love with me until the wee hours" I said, "Well, why in the world would you be crying? They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes." Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doctor, 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'" The doctor said, "I didn't say that.I said you got a heart mummer and be careful." Quotes from Actual Insurance Claims • Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn't have. they're cramming for their final exam." Old Wisdom After working his farm every day, an old farmer rarely had time to enjoy the large pond in the back that he had fixed up years earlier with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and benches.A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me." Mildly irritated, he leaned across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled back down to sleep. The doctor said he could see her in two weeks, and meanwhile there's a simple, informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea of the dimensions of the problem. Start about 40 feet away from her, and speak in a normal onversational tone and see if she hears you. So he moves into the dining room, about 20 feet away. She said to the mortician, "Wonderful, wonderful, but where did you get that beautiful suit?Thirty seconds later she said, "Then you used to bite my neck." Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response." So that evening she's in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he's in the living room, and he says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens." "Honey, what's for supper? So he moves to the other end of the room, about 30 feet away. " "Well, yesterday afternoon after you left, a man about your husband's size was brought in and he was wearing a blue suit," the mortician replied.